In Bed and Streaming

 About 90% of the time, I loathe having a television in the bedroom.  This is because my wife and I operate on different schedules.  With her still out of town, I caught myself staying up way too late watching a movie I found on the bedroom television.  Bad Boys (the 1983 REAL Bad Boys with Sean Penn and Esai Morales).

I’d seen this gripping, coming-of-age film years and years ago on HBO.  Now, it’s available with ads through something called Xumo Play which I imagine carries more points of contagion than the cheapest of Bangkok prostitutes. 

The story takes place in the gorgeous Marshall Square neighborhood on the south side of Chicago.   After a night of purse snatching and assault, Penn’s O’Brien character returns home to find his mother canoodling in the bathtub with (not really) Ron Jeremy and drinking J&B from the bottle.  The scene lasts only a few seconds but was disturbing enough to drive me to a life of crime.   If I saw my mom giving a mustachioed stranger a Kansas City carwash, I’d skip the misdemeanors and go straight to capital felonies. 

Since you’re all Googling “Is Xumo Play Safe,” because the free taste has you craving more, I’ll avoid further spoilers.  Suffice it to say, the coming of age occurs within the confines of a juvenile correctional facility. Penn and Morales are rival thugs that end up in the same juvie hall and have it out on the main floor of the facility while the badass guards have been locked out.

Things of note:

Music has changed.  Billy Squier is the sound of rebellion.  After seeing his mom and (not) Ron Jeremy sharing a pruny, Penn retreats to his room where he fires up a Salem and “Everybody Wants You.”  During the commission of his crime, “In the Dark” plays.  Also,  the incarcerated thugs, given the chance to listen to the radio, groove to Little River Band. 

21-year-old Ally Sheedy was cute, and not in that my-best friend-is-a-robot
sort of way.

22-year-old Sean Penn was not. 

I can only imagine Esai Morales was born with a perfect head of hair.  That shit is as lush as the turf in the courtyard of the Royal Hawaiian Hotel.   

Remember when Eric Gurry was in everything?  I don’t, either, but I remember when a guy that looked like Eric Gurry was in everything.  His role was one of the better ones in the film.  I looked him up and don’t recall seeing anything else he was in.  He graduated from Penn, founded Blockalicious, LLC, and has worked extensively with private capital firms and other stuff my right brain can’t handle.